Memoirs are crossing my desk lately and this one was delightful. The story of an interfaith courtship from the 1960’s, Star Crossed by Bette Isacoff, tells of a Catholic-Jewish relationship with several counts against it before it even gets started. The book succeeds on several levels, including time-specific and time-eternal. Let me explain.

In terms of time-specific, the author paints an accurate picture of an era through which her personal story unfolds complete with comedy, tragedy, and romance. The chapters are short, readable, entertaining and even cliff-hanging. Whether describing cameras, clothes, or cars, the writing is so vivid and thoughtful that I felt I was watching a movie for which the set and costume designers would win awards.

In terms of a timeless message, Bette and Richard’s marriage shows that love really does conquer all. And when recognized by a Priest of the Church years after their wedding, the sentiment is that much more powerful. It gives hope to all people who are driven by Love to accomplish something that society falsely deems forbidden.

One plot point is based on the idea that if the parents relaxed their roadblocks to this marriage, then Bette and Richard would lose interest and the parents, psychologist, and society would win. In other words, “we only want what we can’t have.” But that’s not what happens. The radically different responses of the two sets of parents is almost a case study for students of psychology. Isacoff balances the roles that unconscious, painful pasts, conditioned ideologies, and familial relationships play in explaining the resistance they faced.

Readers might wonder how Bette and Richard raised their daughter with regards to religion, and how they might reflect on that experience 43 years later. But there is a certain beauty in leaving this out. For the story is not about their daughter but about them. Perhaps they are showing respect to her as an individual capable of telling her own story if she so chooses; i.e., of showing her the kind of respect that they would have liked to have received from their parents and elders so many years ago. For that also takes Love.

In short, the book is a good read and it makes you want to meet this sweet couple!

Resources on this website showcase lessons, holidays, social justice programs and more for interfaith and interspiritual families.