Being Both: Embracing Two Religions in One Interfaith Family, by Susan Katz Miller, is a preview of how everyone’s ideas about religion may be significantly influenced as a direct result of intermarriage. And while not all intermarried families choose to raise their children with both parent’s religion, the experience of those who do is well worth a look.

Being Both sheds light on why an increasing number of families choose to practice two religions and how they do it. Katz Miller shares stories and statistics from her survey of Jewish-Christian families’ experiences in four different interfaith communities across the country. She thoughtfully defuses the usual objections posed by skeptics to raising children with two faiths. Her arguments are thorough in that she includes the perceptions of grown children, parents, clergy, and teachers. This addition of the teachers’ perspective is especially interesting to me as an interfaith minister and educator. Our voices are unheard in the development of religious school curricula yet we try our ideas ion the sidelines in independent programs. The reflections shared by the now-grown children who experience these alternative programs are ground breaking. Suffice it to say, the kids are not confused.

Being in an interfaith marriage and having started a Jewish-Interfaith (as opposed to Jewish-Christian) community with an ongoing Jewish-Interfaith educational program, I found my experience resembling those of the families described in this book with many overlapping areas. I nodded as I read along highlighting passages that articulated some of the ironies that intermarried families encounter such as the exclusionary practices of Jewish institutions at a time of decreasing enrollment. Katz Miller provides much awaited research to back up positive experiences with interfaith education that I do hope many traditional religious leaders will consider.  For instance, many of the offspring of these interfaith programs choose careers dedicated to helping others resolve conflict. It seems to come more naturally to them, suggests Katz Miller. This confirms what I see in my own Jewish-Interfaith students. Perhaps “the peace makers are at hand.”

Being Both is a well-written macro and micro sweep of a small but growing grass roots movement with far reaching effects for anyone involved with religion. It certainly paves the way for future intermarried couples considering alternative models of religious education for themselves and their children. (I plan to give this book as a gift to future wedding clients.) I look forward to watching this religious educational trend continue with intermarrying Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists. But I am perhaps most eager to see how religious institutions and interfaith dialogue groups – organizations whose missions depend on monofaith identity – respond, as more children grow up holding complex and fluid religious identities. It may turn out that in a multifaith world, the current social norm of a single religious identity is the more confusing one and not the other way around. If dual or interfaith religious identities end up producing adults more capable of resolving conflict, then what are we waiting for?

The Resources on my website offer ideas and programs for children and families in interfaith communities and interspiritual homes.